There were times when I ask myself, "Why am I still here? I want out." But no. Not yet. Because I haven't yet learned what I needed to learn. Or more like, I was still at the peak of the moment. Feeling and embracing it with an open heart. And I'm glad I was chosen by fate to experience it. I am glad I had to go through all that distress yet addicting experiences. For if not for that, I wouldn't realize how damn strong I am to pull back with high-level of awareness. It was both ecstatic and (a LOT) troublesome adventure with you. I wouldn't exchange that for anything less than extraordinary. It was, on the contrary, simply amazing.
2013. It was when I earned a total freedom from something that belongs to the past. It's why you can't imagine how tearfully happy (Oh, happy is the understatement of the year) I was when I finally acquired it. Then on, I tried doing everything that interests me to make up for the time lost. Or perhaps, I was trying to seek the same stimulating situations which I've gotten myself used to.
On a somber note, I must have shut my doors so tight, fearing I'd lost what I worked hard for, again. Obviously, I might have hurt people unintentionally for the sake of entertaining myself. Experimenting around. Trying to get the real deal out of people without realizing I might have gone overboard for wanting anything challenging to satisfy my flying expectation. And I guess, this is the best time for, ahm, er, can't believe I'm saying this, apologies? LOL! But seriously, if there's one thing I regret, it was being insensitive enough for people who genuinely cared about me.
Year of the Snake was a liberating year. Couldn't ask for more.
As for me, 2013 is to FREEDOM.
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